Resolve

2013 is almost over.  It's been a good year.  And  a hard one.  I've grown exponentially in my faith, gotten baptized and seen my family rip apart and then knit back together.  It's had highs, lows and in betweens.  Basically-life.

So here are my resolutions for the new year. I don't always make them, I certainly don't always keep them but nonetheless:

I hereby resolve...

...to get myself in the best possible financial state possible.  This includes cancelling all uneccessary credit cards, paying off all remaining ones, starting a weekly savings plan that will save me over 1,000 in the coming year and cutting all other costs and spending far more wisely.

...to continue to get myself in better shape and lose the remaining 50 lbs I'd like to lose,  This will include amping up my exerciese regime (inclusing adding back my nemesis-cardio), cutting out as much sugar as possible (I can't quit it alltogether.  Cupcakes and I, we've got something going), and eating cleaner and better.   Let operation smokin' hot body commence.

...being more intentional and stringent about making time for me and God.  I bought a yearly devotional before Christmas and my goal is to set aside some quiet time each day to pray, study my Bible and grow closer to God.

These are my goals-how about you?  Do you make resolutions? And keep them?

Thankful

Everyone is doing the 30 days of thanks thing on facebook.  I've done it before too.  I think its good and nice to stop and reflect on what we have and our blessings.  All the time, yes, but its nice no matter when/where it happens.

I didn't participate this year.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe its best summed up by this eCard (isn't everything?)

Because its so true.  And since we are all guilty of airing our complaints and tirades on the old facebook (bc that's easier than real life) I didn't want to be hypocritical-its one of my very least favorite things to be.

But I am thankful-in November and always for many things.  So I'm just going to share them with you all here.  In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, but with the reminder to count your blessings always, not just in November :)

1-God and His never ending, totally undeserved love and patience with me.  I could never, ever be worthy.  His Grace is in fact absolutely amazing.

2-My family.  It's been a rough year for us.  We've weathered more turmoil than every before but things are starting to look up.  But no matter what I know they, particularly my parents, would do anything for me and love me in spite of all my many flaws.

3-My friends-I have some freaking amazing ones.  I only pray others are as blessed in this areas.  The other day in a moment of crisis I had 4 people I could immediately text and they were all ready to lend support, an ear, an outlet.  Love.  You need people, people.  If you don't have some, invest.

4-My church family.  My growing relationship with God has opened me up to some of the best people.  They worry about me and care for me and pray for and with me.  That's a beautiful relationship to build too.

5-My job.  Teaching is at once the most exhausting, exhilarating, rewarding, draining, hilarious, worry causing job out there.  For every moment that makes me want to quit, there are at least 5 that make me want to do this forever.

That's enough for now-I am blessed-how are you blessed?

Life is a Sitcom

Sometimes I wish my life was a sitcom.  I thought this last night as I watched New Girl and wished my friends and I went around saying the hilarious things Schmidt says or that I was starting a tremulous relationship with Nick Miller.  I wish my life was a sitcom.  And then I realize...it kind of is.  Particularly when things like the following conversation happen:

Me: I don't want anyone to say that I wear the pants in my family-I don't want them to think like that of my (fictitious and hypothetical) husband.  (((Pause))) But...I don't really want them to think he wears the pants either...

Friend D: Yeah its really best if no one wears pants.

Who needs a sitcom when you have real life?

God Knows

Things have not been easy in my life lately.  Compared to some I feel bad complaining or worrying.  But everyone's struggles are relative to their own lives, their own stories.  And lately mine has been rough.

School has been hard.  The hardest its ever been.  I have a huge, boy-heavy class of kids and there are SEVERAL big behavior issues.  It's making it tough to teach and tough to feel effective. And, some days, tough to keep my sanity.

I have family turmoil going on.  It's causing lots of tension, lots of drama and I have been feeling very hurt, unimportant and kind of a non-factor lately.

And I feel bad whining about it.  Which makes me mad.  I should be allowed to whine or complain sometimes without feeling guilty about it.  About making it about me for once.  I seldom do honestly.  So in the depths of a pity party the other day I was contemplating how, even my parents, my closest friends and family, seemed to have no idea how much hurt and struggle I was going through internally.  Apparently I hide things very well.  Which hurt my feelings too.  Shouldn't someone KNOW me well enough to tell I was having a hard time??? (I told you, it was a total pity party!)

So I prayed.  Ferverently.  About everything.

God hears us. He knows.

Last night (after a somewhat better day) a friend from church called.  He just wanted to check on me.  He had noticed that I seemed off in Sunday School.  Mind you, we didn't even get a chance to talk on Sunday due to him arriving a little late and me leaving early for childcare duties.  I responded I didn't know I was that obvious. He said I wasn't.  He just knew me.  And he wanted to check on me.

It was one of the best phone calls I've had in a long time.  Just what I needed to hear. From an unexpected source.  One of my other friends who knows me better than most anyone in the world said she wouldn't have even been able to tell anything was wrong.  But he did. 

He knew.
He knew me.
God knows too.
Every time.

Back to the Drawing Board

So I've tried this blogging thing several times.  It's not been the magical success story I hoped either time.  But you know what?  I like writing.  I miss it.  It's like a very public journal and if no one but me reads it, that's ok. 

I realize I need to amp it up.  I need to include more pictures.  More excitement.  That's what it takes.  That's what I love about the blogs I read.  More sharing.  More openness.  I think that would be good for me.

I feel like I am on a precipice lately.  On the verge of something.  I don't know what or when or why, which is both exciting and terrifying at the same time.  But I feel like big things are coming.  I hope I'm ready.

For just a little peek into me:

I'm Lindsay. I'm (GULP!) almost 30.  My life is not what I dreamed of as a child but is pretty amazing at the same time. You'll hear about that.

I love Jesus, my family, my friends, my dogs Mazie & Ruby, boot camp, getting fit, cooking, singing, dancing and laughing.  I love Pinterest and Facebook and am becoming a Instagram and Twitter convert.  You'll hear about that.

I teach kindergarten. Some days its amazing, some days its amazingly hard, but its always an adventure.  You'll hear about that too.

My blog title comes from on of my favorite Bible verses.  I have issues with some of Proverbs 31 but this portion I adore.  I try to live like that.  I fail.  I try again.

Welcome and stay a while :)  Questions, comments?  If they're nice and respectful I'll answer.  If they're not, I'll delete them.  It's my rules baby.  Like it or leave it.

Enjoy the ride!